i feel so behind. so far away from where i would like to be right now. i don’t know where to begin or where to think of beginning from. do i need to think? do i have the time to think? do i need to think at all- haven’t i figured it out yet? yesterday night was the first time in months i’ve had the time to realize i have not reflected on my day as i laid down preparing to sleep. instead of doing so, i was too occupied thinking about the concept of ‘time’ that i have to spare. a minute later i decided to change positions and sleep. and i slept. had weird dreams. i don’t know if i know how to think anymore. i miss it. i miss assuming things too. i miss believing i have enough time to do so. i miss having the time to do so. do i have time, or have i convinced myself otherwise? what is time? who am i and what the fuck am i waiting for?